


Season 2 Episode 1: A throwaway comment can cut so deep

by Heligena



Series: Season 2 Drabbles [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 19:46:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4112755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heligena/pseuds/Heligena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ok so I know this is out of sequence but balls to it.</p>
<p>This is my drabble for Season 2 Episode 1: a brief extension to the scene that occurs while Laura and Carmilla are sitting on the couch at the end of the episode.<br/>The comment that Laf made about twisted courtship rituals just got me to thinking how Carm might have taken that.<br/>(clue: not well.)</p>
<p>Thanks for reading!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“You changed. What you did for me, what you did for all of us, you took on your mother. You took on a God. And maybe I am just some nineteen year old girl who only passed her lit class on a vampire fighting technicality but...

Laura stopped for a moment as she realised Carmilla hadn’t said anything for the past few minutes.

“Hey you’re kind of quiet.”

Carmilla’s eyes flicked up for a moment then returned to her lap. “I’m a vampire cupcake, we’re kind of the poster girls for furtive behaviour.”

Laura fell silent for a moment lying next to her on the chaise longue.  
Only a moment though. She was Laura after all.

“It’s about what Laf said isn’t it?”

Carmilla didn’t move. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“That crack about our twisted courtship rituals. You know she didn’t mean anything by it, right?”

A sigh escaped the brunette’s lips and she turned her body a little perched as she was on the leather fixture, her legs stretched out in front of her.

Laura blinked, “Of all the people we know, they’re not gonna be the one judging...”

“People can’t help having pre-conceived notions of love, buttercup it’s part of the human condition.”

Laura shuffled a little closer at the strange tension in the brunette’s deep voice.

“When I was young love wasn’t something that just sprung to life in some unexpected setting.”

“Like a Styrian dorm room, you mean?”

Charcoal eyes burning with seriousness looked back at her. “It was about nobility and chivalry. I was raised on books about courageous knights setting out on adventures to prove their affection for their maidens fair. It was unrealistic and written for the sole purpose of entertaining the nobility; a useless class of society too scared to wear the wrong dress at a social occasion. To provide them with a fantasy, an escape where they could imagine themselves as having a role to play instead of lolling about on the very expensive furniture.”

“That sounds kind of cynical.”

Laura looked directly at her, Carmilla’s hand having stilled in her hair.

Carmilla for her part straightened her spine as if she was trying to shirk off some of the dark thoughts she was lost in. “It does. And it was. Thing is; I was one of those ineffectual aristocrats burying myself in books like La Princesse de Cleves and Tristan & Isolde. Losing myself day in and day out in something that was idealised and unrealistic. And I...loved everything about it.”

The older girl glowered down at her hands twisting together. As if the admission was something she wished she had kept to herself. But it was out now and Laura’s chest ached at the sight of the other girl’s deeply ingrained self loathing. Unable to keep from touching Carmilla any longer, she brought her hand down to rest soothingly on her roommate’s hip.

“You can’t blame yourself for how you were brought up.”

Carmilla refused to look at her.

“Don’t you see how ridiculous that makes me? Even after living through each century’s new ideas on love I still clung to the ones I grew up with. Despite the fact that I knew...” She paused. “I knew...they were impossible to fulfil.”

“Carm...”

She tilted her head, her wavy hair shaking with the motion. “Or maybe that’s why I hung onto them so tightly. Precisely because I was aware that they led to nothing but searing disappointment.”

Laura held her tongue at that. At the idea that her girlfriend might have sabotaged her own chances at happiness because she felt deep down that she never deserved such a thing. 

It was a horrifying realisation and one that sucked the air right out of the dark blonde’s lungs. And she wanted desperately to pull the other girl into a hug and never let go. Let her skin speak for her. To show her how wrong she was. How much she had changed.

But just as she was about to do that, as the conversation spiralled around inside her mind and she tried to find the right words to say, another wholly new thought struck her and her jaw dropped open.

“So when you went down and got the sword...when you came to the cavern to save us...”

“To save you,” Carmilla corrected softly. 

“That was you...going on your quest to prove your love? You knew even then?”

Moist dark eyes snuck a glance at her as the vampire shrugged. 

“I just...I guess I figured if I was gonna go out, might aswell make one last attempt. Some of your irritating optimism from living with you must have rubbed off on me. They really should give shots for that kind of thing.”

Laura’s eyes began tearing up a little as she smiled slightly.

“But that means...it worked Carm. Look at us. Here. Together. The hero got the girl and the happy ever after.”

Carmilla sniffed a little though she did her best to hide it and turned to face the girl sitting next to her.

“I know that might be the worst part of all.”

Laura’s face fell immediately and Carmilla shook her head wrapping an arm around the smaller girl. “What I mean is, if they got it right and that ridiculous stuff was actually true... now I have to live up to the ideal I read about.”

Kissing Laura’s neck tenderly, she buried her face in that golden hair she loved so much. “Doesn’t seem likely does it?”

Relaxing a little now that she kind of understood her girlfriend’s unease, Laura bit her lip as she felt Carmilla burrow into the hollow of her shoulder.

“I don’t know... I think you might just surprise us all Karnstein.” 

Pulling her into her side as close as humanly possible, she wrapped her own arm around her hip. “And while, I may not have read as much Chaucer as you... I still know how this story goes. Good is triumphant, evil is vanquished. And once all of the monsters are chased away...”

Carmilla dropped her gaze for a moment but Laura urged her to raise her head again with a shake of her shoulder bringing them face to face. Reaching her free hand out to skirt Carmilla’s stomach, she smiled intently.

“...our hero leans in for her very much non PG kiss and... and the screen fades to...”


	2. Season 2 Episode 2: Blame is a heavy mantle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok so again, not in order, sorry- only had the idea after episode 3 to do a drabble after each ep but Episode 4 onwards it should all be chronological.
> 
> So this is my quick one shot inspired by Season 2 Episode 2- a conversation between Lafontaine and Perry in the hallway after leaving the room.
> 
> Actually made myself a little sad writing this. :(
> 
> But once again, thanks for reading.

“Perry, wait.”

Laf followed the curls bouncing in front of them as they left Laura and Carmilla’s room.  
The shower seemed to have calmed Perry down somewhat but the way her fingers had kept scratching at the skin on her forearms even as they sat quietly side by side told the scientist that it’d take more than some hot water to erase the memory of all that sticky, cloying blood.

“I’m so tired of this.”

“You’re right, you should get some rest. It’ll help.”

Perry turned to them eyes wild. “I don’t mean sleep. I mean this...stupid war.”

Laf blinked and Perry walked up to them, standing so close they were inches apart.

“And this is your doing!”

The smaller ginger swallowed hard as they fought to keep from taking a step away from their friend.

“You spent so long trying to convince me we were in the middle of a battle. Chipping away at all the arguments I put up about this place. Good, solid arguments. Wearing me down...”

Laf threw they’re hands up. “I was trying to keep you safe Per. Stop you from running headlong into anything dangerous without being prepared.”

In the dim lights of the hallway, Perry’s face looked weary, dark bags under her eyes barely illuminated by the shadows around them. But her eyes were wide and manic.

“And yes! Congratulations you were right. Big applause for Susan Lafontaine. But now that you’ve shown it to me, I can’t unsee it! Do you understand?!”

Her agitated expression faded a little though her eyes still shone with a glazed look. “You know what my Uncle taught me about war when he came back from Iraq? That glory is an illusion. And that it’s only the ones that have never fired a shot or heard the cries from the wounded that continue to cry for blood and vengeance.”

Laf didn’t know what to say. They’d never heard their friend talk about her father’s brother much. Hell, they’d figured he was a pretty absent figure given his extensive tours of the Middle East over the last decade. Of course, they’d known that Perry used to pray for him to come home safely, she’d done it secretly in the corner of the room even when they’d had their Monday night sleepovers but she’d never brought him up much in their conversations.  
So how the hell could she not have noticed how important he was to her best friend?

Struggling to keep up with the conversation, Laf ran a hand through a sheaf of hair.

“I...I’m sorry that you’re hurt Per. But I won’t apologise for trying to keep you out of harm’s way. I can’t. ”

Perry held her freshly scrubbed palms up, “Is that what this looks like to you? The results of being out of harm’s way?”  
Laf stared at the raw skin in front of them, heart sinking.

Unable to pick through the words clogging up their throat, they shook their head miserably instead.

And Perry simply stared at them, breathing raggedly for a moment before she finally picked up on Lafontaine’s anguish and her stance seemed to soften a little.

“Su...Lafontaine.”

Her roommate raised a chin as if waiting for the next blow and in some part of her Perry found she was almost impressed as she glanced down at them.

“I’m not...I’m not saying this is down to you. I know you would never hurt anyone if you can help it, it’s just...”

Her voice trailed off as she tried to explain the maelstrom of emotions coursing through her nervous system. “You were the one who forced me to look through the keyhole and now, it’s getting harder and harder to look away.”

“But...”

“I had all these moments, this wonderful patchwork of memories of being with you. Baking in my Mom’s kitchen and trying to clean the flour off the window latches. Fixing you up after you convinced yourself that you were going to be the first one to climb the Dragon Tree in the park and getting your foot stuck in its mouth.”

A momentary smile flashed across Laf’s face before they noticed Perry wasn’t wearing the same expression.

“And now...” they asked with a hint of trepidation.

“And now, in my head...it’s all muddled up. All I can associate you with is...feeling terrified. All the time. Every second. The smell of burning straw. And now...now the taste of blood.”

Laf shivered involuntarily as glassy eyes watched them respond to that. 

They knew somewhere inside that Perry wasn’t trying to be hurtful. That she was simply trying to work through everything in a logical, rational way, form some kind of order amidst chaos but it didn’t mean that every word coming from her mouth didn’t burn like acid.  
Eroding the edges of a soul she’d thought was shared with the girl in front of her.  
But apparently not, judging by the conflicted look on Perry’s wan face.

“I’m sorry,” the taller girl offered weakly.

Laf straightened up and put all their energy into nodding as compassionately as they could. Though vomiting on the worn carpeting felt a little more appropriate right now.

“I think, maybe I just need some time. To try and separate out everything that’s happened, you know?”

Laf froze. “What are you....”

“I’ll take one of the other empty rooms for the next few nights. Give us both some space to clear our heads.” Said Perry blankly.

“Jesus, I don’t need to clear my head Per, and how am I supposed to sleep not knowing if you’re safe or not?” argued Laf desperately.

Perry licked her lips and tried her best not to grimace at the tangy taste she could have sworn covered them.

“I’ll be fine.”

“At least stay with Laura....”

The taller girl shook her head immediately. “I’m not ready to be around her either. The two of you, you led us to...”

Cutting herself off Perry allowed herself a hint of a smile as she put a hand out and rested it gently on her friend’s shoulder.

“I’ll be ok. I’ll come by the room tomorrow and check in, ok?”

Laf didn’t move. Not even when Perry turned away from them and walked shakily down the hallway her hair shining for a moment in the passing lamplight before disappearing entirely.

Leaving Lafontaine standing there, homemade pitchfork resting heavily against one of their palms.


End file.
